Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
