somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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