It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
