Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize