What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
