I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
