That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize