I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
