no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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