I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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