I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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