i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
