Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize