u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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