On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
NoShamevember. You game?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
