I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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