Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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