That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
