sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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