anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
