Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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