It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
