as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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