This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
