i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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