There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize