I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
