bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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