It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
