Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
