remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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