I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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