i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
