I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
