did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
