Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
