she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
