Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
