So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize