Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
