I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
