I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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