haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
