Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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