i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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