She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize