I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
