Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The struggles of a small town man whore
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