I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
