Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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