Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He felt like a one man threesome
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
