If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
God, I missed his penis.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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