I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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