Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
