There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
