how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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