I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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