i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
