I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
