I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
