Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
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No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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