I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
