I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
