she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
