we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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