when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
