is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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