So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
