I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize