i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm jealous of your bromance
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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