found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
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Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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