I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
