If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
