Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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