We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
