when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
