Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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