with your own penis?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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