if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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