So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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