we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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