The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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